You got me, false advertising. I know next to nothing of the mind-reading hocus pokus crap. However, I do know a bit about BODY READING. The next greatest thing to mind-reading, analyzing the non-verbal actions of an individual can reveal more than what meets the eye- literally. Over 70% of a conversation is held through the physical interactions between the people involved, whether it's a shift in body weight or the placement of a hand. Rarely are these subconscious movements actively interpreted though. Because these non-verbal actions derive from the subconscious, an alert individual can actually analyzes these movements and determine how the other person is truly feeling, or in other words, what they are thinking. Catch my drift?
Since Valentine's Day is a mere 30 hours away, I thought a informational post on how to read the body language of a flirtatious individual would be suiting. Below are some of the most common body language ques that have appeared in the 50 or so websites I have researched (majority coming from Janine Driver, a retired federal agent who specialized in body language reading).
Before you can start analyzing body language, you must first establish a baseline behavioral rapport for the individual you wish to analyze. If someone is generally figgity, then tapping of the foot or rapid blinking may not be used as a particular que. Also if someone is shy, looking down or crossed arms would not typically signify anything important. The key idea to remember is any deviations from that person's normal behavior can be marked as potentially significant.
Another key idea is to remember is that three is the magic number. If three of below items are repeated or done simultaneously then that's usually a strong sign of interest. However, this is up for personal interpretation (situational based).
General Ques
- Three Key Zones- There are three key zones that if a person is interested in you or what you're saying will be directed towards you: the neck, belly-button, and pelvic region. (The TV show New Girl also identified the feet as one of the areas and some of the reports I've read have supported this as well!)
- Body Language Mirroring- When a person starts to mirror subtle physical actions you are doing, like placing your hands on your hips or tilting your head to one side, that signifies interest in what you're saying. While being verbally engaged they are also becoming physically.
- Eye Crinkle- Like Tyra Banks always says "Smile with your eyes." True emotion always reaches the eyes and/or eyebrows, so if a person is smiling but there isn't a crinkle at the eye's corners, they're really not feeling what they're saying.
- Pupils- If you're ever close enough to look into the other person's eyes, look at their pupils. Studies have found that when the pupils are dilated the person likes what they see.
- To Lean in or to Lean Out- If a person is leaning in or towards you, that means they're engaged in what's being said. If they're leaning away, either you need a breath mint or they are uninterested and want to leave.
- Head tilt- If a person is tilting their head, they are trying to become more engaged in what you're saying. (This is a good sign.)
- Crossed arms- This move really depends on the situation and combining it with other body signals to get a better understanding. If the arms are crossed and the three zones are directed away, this is usually a strong indicator of dislike. However, often the arms are crossed to cover the stomach as a comfort thing. This could simply be habit (once again, base interpretations off of the baseline rapport) or a sign of nervousness (which could be good or bad, depending on circumstances. If they like you, could be a good-nervous. Or they could simply be intimidated).
Reading Men
- Self-Grooming- When a man messes up/smooths his hair, straightens a tie, brushes a lapel or anything along those line, this signals that he is trying to look good for you (AKA he wants to look good for you).
- Stretches out/puts his hand on his hips- Generally these moves, or others that make him take up more space, are him trying to become the dominant figure (which is good). Men want to be seen this way and so by him making this move he's going back to the primal instinct of being in control of his women.
- Hands on the belt or belt buckle- Specifically draws attention to the pelvic region (primal instinct that men often don't even notice or do on purpose).
- Eyebrow raise and/or lip parting- This one really varies between men, but you can still use it to justify a response if action is significant. If a man raises his eyebrows or parts his lips right after seeing you, he likes what he sees (and when I say "right after he sees you" I mean RIGHT AFTER, it can't be midway through a conversation).
- Touching elbow, lower back, etc of the women- attempt to be in control of the women (guide her) or simple know where she's going. This is an indicator that he cares and has primal instincts about you (take it how you want).
Reading Women:
- Touching the neck (lightly.. not like rubbing it in frustration or stress)- an inviting sign where she's trying to be more open with you and draw attention to the chest area (primal move). The neck has also been noted as an erogenous zone (or sensitive area).
- Playing with the hair- attention grabber where she wants you to look at her/admire her features.
- Wetting the lips/biting them- Wetting the lips mimics kissing and gentle biting is either a result of nervousness or seduction (up to you to interpret).
- Legs crossed- This one really depends on the situation. If she's crossed her legs but they're still open to you then its a good sign (like the picture) where she only wants to focus on you. If they're crossed and not even pointing at you, not a good sign (disinterest, not liking the conversation).
- Touching you- No matter where she touches you this is an attempt to get closer!
(Just thought I'd throw this one in there for kicks. Once again, three is the magic number!)
- Answers with a question- a liar needs time to formulate their response and also diffuse the attention from them.
- Shoulder shrug- often associated with lying, sign of an unsure answer (aka not true)
- Head nodding- While a person may be saying one thing, the head nod may be saying the other. For instance, when Bill Clinton said, "I did not have sexual relations with that women..." his head was nodding "yes" while he was saying no. (Go on youtube if you don't believe me!)
- Pause- after you ask the potential liar a question, there will be the slightest pause, followed by typically a defensive tone.
- Eye contact- A liar will hardly ever look into the eyes of the accuser.
- Hands- Either clenched, hidden from sight, or closed off in some way. Hands are typically an expressive part of human behavior, so an absence of their usage hints that there is something wrong (under given circumstances)
- Ask them to report their story in reverse. A made up story is crafted from beginning to end and so it is extremely difficult to report it back to front on the spot.
- Ask them what happened and then just say "Really?" in a disbelieving tone. Do not say anything else at all, even if they respond. Just sit there staring right into their eyes.
*These signs are not completely universal for every individual on this planet. However, they have been proven as very common behavioral traits through professional research and observation.
